Print ArticleWhy are so many women interested in the bad boy? This is the fixer-upper. Cute, sexy but rough around the edges. This is the type of dude guys like me can´t stand because instead of dating someone that´s good for them, women (or even men) will sometimes choose the ones that treat them like crap. This is also the type of love relationship that always leads to a break up. Why?
I tease my female friends that most women seem to want a "project", a boyfriend they can work on and modify and mold into what they want and if they´re lucky enough to somehow turn their bad boy into a respectable one then they´re bored with him because he´s not who they fell in love with and then ends in a break up.
What is so hard about choosing someone you can accept as-is? Like when you´re buying a used car. You know it ain´t perfect but it does the job, doesn´t it? Why is it so important to shape and prod and mold your boyfriend into what you feel is your ideal man?
People are not "projects" they are people through and through. In my novel, visit Forever My Lady, one of the main characters, Jennifer learns this the hard way when she tries to change her bad boy, Dio from being a hard core trouble maker into being who she envisions him to be. She learns the hard way because in the end he makes all the changes she wants him to make superficially but by that time her heart has fallen for someone else. So much so that she plans on marrying someone else and let´s just say Dio doesn´t take it very well when he shows up at her wedding with a gun.
The intentions might be pure. You might see this lost soul and oh, if they´d only do this or that then they´d be much happier. But if someone doesn´t want to be helped, you cannot help them. I spent so much effort tries to communicate with my other half exactly how I wanted them to behave but it didn´t work. It was a love relationship that was a total waste of time and a waste of energy and resulted in a break up.
I´ve had my fair share of love relationships and that is one thing I´ve learned from all of them. Ladies, if you can´t accept your boyfriend exactly the way they are with absolutely no changes then move the hell on. It´s not worth it. You´ll be frustrated because they´re not being who you want them to be and they´ll be frustrated cause you´re frustrated and because you´re not accepting them for who they are.
Accept them how they are or move on.
Jeff Rivera is the author of Forever My Lady. For more information visit Amazon.com or www.JeffRivera.com
I tease my female friends that most women seem to want a "project", a boyfriend they can work on and modify and mold into what they want and if they´re lucky enough to somehow turn their bad boy into a respectable one then they´re bored with him because he´s not who they fell in love with and then ends in a break up.
What is so hard about choosing someone you can accept as-is? Like when you´re buying a used car. You know it ain´t perfect but it does the job, doesn´t it? Why is it so important to shape and prod and mold your boyfriend into what you feel is your ideal man?
People are not "projects" they are people through and through. In my novel, visit Forever My Lady, one of the main characters, Jennifer learns this the hard way when she tries to change her bad boy, Dio from being a hard core trouble maker into being who she envisions him to be. She learns the hard way because in the end he makes all the changes she wants him to make superficially but by that time her heart has fallen for someone else. So much so that she plans on marrying someone else and let´s just say Dio doesn´t take it very well when he shows up at her wedding with a gun.
The intentions might be pure. You might see this lost soul and oh, if they´d only do this or that then they´d be much happier. But if someone doesn´t want to be helped, you cannot help them. I spent so much effort tries to communicate with my other half exactly how I wanted them to behave but it didn´t work. It was a love relationship that was a total waste of time and a waste of energy and resulted in a break up.
I´ve had my fair share of love relationships and that is one thing I´ve learned from all of them. Ladies, if you can´t accept your boyfriend exactly the way they are with absolutely no changes then move the hell on. It´s not worth it. You´ll be frustrated because they´re not being who you want them to be and they´ll be frustrated cause you´re frustrated and because you´re not accepting them for who they are.
Accept them how they are or move on.
Jeff Rivera is the author of Forever My Lady. For more information visit Amazon.com or www.JeffRivera.com
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