Print ArticleI don´t care how bad the break up was, moving on is not easy. But you have to. I know you´ll swear off men or swear off women, whichever is the case, after you´ve been "done wrong" but eventually you would like to settle down with someone special that treats you the way you deserve.
But what do you do when you´ve found someone else special and well, your heart is still with your ex? No matter how hard you fight it, you feel guilty about thinking about being with someone else.
I had this complex, because I´m naturally hard-wired to be monogamous . It was very hard for me to get used to the idea of being with someone else months after breaking up with someone. Some people take the opposite approach and jump right into a rebound relationship afterward to get over the person and I´m not so sure that is so healthy. You still carry the residual effects and damage of the previous relationship and often will carry that into the next one. So instead of talking to your new love you´re actually talking to your ex. (Have you ever called your new love the name of your ex? How embarrassing.)
The same thing happens to one of the characters in my novel, Forever My Lady , Jennifer has a hard time giving herself permission to move on to what really is a much healthier relationship. She has serious guilt about truly letting her ex, Dio go from her heart and her mind. She´s more worried about his feelings than her own happiness but ultimately, she knows what she must do.
Although, it´s not easy in a case like this, that is when you really need to become selfish. You need to think about your own needs. Do you want to spend the rest of your life bitter and frustrated in a train-wreck of a relationship? Or do you want a real shot at true love? You have to jump. You have to tell yourself that you deserve the best and if your ex ain´t it, then you´ve got to move on.
You deserve the best, always remember that and you deserve nothing less.
Jeff Rivera is the author of Forever My Lady. For more information visit Amazon.com or www.JeffRivera.com
But what do you do when you´ve found someone else special and well, your heart is still with your ex? No matter how hard you fight it, you feel guilty about thinking about being with someone else.
I had this complex, because I´m naturally hard-wired to be monogamous . It was very hard for me to get used to the idea of being with someone else months after breaking up with someone. Some people take the opposite approach and jump right into a rebound relationship afterward to get over the person and I´m not so sure that is so healthy. You still carry the residual effects and damage of the previous relationship and often will carry that into the next one. So instead of talking to your new love you´re actually talking to your ex. (Have you ever called your new love the name of your ex? How embarrassing.)
The same thing happens to one of the characters in my novel, Forever My Lady , Jennifer has a hard time giving herself permission to move on to what really is a much healthier relationship. She has serious guilt about truly letting her ex, Dio go from her heart and her mind. She´s more worried about his feelings than her own happiness but ultimately, she knows what she must do.
Although, it´s not easy in a case like this, that is when you really need to become selfish. You need to think about your own needs. Do you want to spend the rest of your life bitter and frustrated in a train-wreck of a relationship? Or do you want a real shot at true love? You have to jump. You have to tell yourself that you deserve the best and if your ex ain´t it, then you´ve got to move on.
You deserve the best, always remember that and you deserve nothing less.
Jeff Rivera is the author of Forever My Lady. For more information visit Amazon.com or www.JeffRivera.com
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